By Archer D’Angelo

The Terrapin Times has decided to embark upon the task of explaining the members of Donald Trump’s Cabinet in a digestible way by and for the students of Brooklyn Independent. This is the product of this project, our dissection of  Trump’s cabinet, or as I call it, due to its large percentage of television personalities, the “TV Cabinet.” We will be explaining the members of This Cabinet by showcasing their own words and quotes, to truly understand their thought processes.

Elon Musk

Elon Musk, he is not new to the American public, nor is he to anyone following American Politics, but he is certainly a new and important member of the American Government. We all know Elon as the strange, video game-loving  billionaire from South Africa who has, at points, led Paypal, SpaceX, Tesla, OpenAI (ChatGPT & DALL-E), and Neuralink (the Brain Chip one). We also know him, most recently, as the man who bought Twitter, laid off most of its employees, renamed it to “X” and, for the most part, ruined its public reputation. However, the X incident has been largely overshadowed by his involvement in politics. Over his career, Elon has supported various libertarian and conservative causes along with various conspiracy theories, just as much as he has supported Cryptocurrency and Mars Colonization. Recently however, he has become a vocal supporter of Trump, a member of his administration, and a notably Far-Right politician.

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I have decided to do this one in a different style from the Previous entry. I have realized Elon does not have many quotes from interviews that are particularly strange, however he does have tweets (Or X’s as he calls them). I’d start it with his most famous tweet, his first tweet after buying Twitter:

      “Entering Twitter HQ – let that sink in!” (Attached photo above)

  Yes, he brought a real sink, and if you follow him in any way you know that he will not let anyone forget that. I try to go by factual information but this is one of the corniest jokes I have ever had to have heard in my life. This is a man with the power of a pseudo-Vice President making sink puns after BUYING TWITTER and then proceeding to make it significantly worse. I noted previously that he is a member of the current administration, but It should be noted that he has been given access to all government files, given an office in the White House complex, and even gotten in Trump’s family photos. Take everything forward with the express knowledge of these things as you read.

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On a more weird-rich-boy note, he made an interesting statement on his platform, Twitter, a few days after buying it. He made a statement easily able to drive a stake through the heart of any good citizen of Georgia.

“Next I’m buying Coca-Cola to put the cocaine back in”

I shouldn’t even have to explain this one. It’s kinda funny, but yet again he probably has the power to actually do this. With his current level of power there’s a non-zero chance that he does have the power to seize Coca-Cola and publicly put Cocaine in it.

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Lastly, I am going to cover a more covered event, Adrian Dittman. “Adrian” is allegedly a Twitter account held by a “fan” of Elon Musk who “officially” is not Elon himself (even though he did technically admit in an Iron Man reference but still kept posting on that account). I believe that Adrian is Elon but as that is not proven I will show some of Adrian’s Tweets. 

To Elon posting a photo of him giving his son X Æ A-Xii Musk, a piggyback ride “Adrian Dittmann” responded

“You’re an amazing father, Elon.

Your kids are very lucky to have you.”

Elon MAY have called himself an amazing father. If Adrian is Elon that is quite a sad realization that he still has to back himself up on the internet while being a Pseudo-Vice President and the richest man alive.

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As the great writer, revolutionary and controversialist, Thomas Paine said in a time of crisis, not wildly unlike this time of ourselves, “These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.” Here we see not even a “Sunshine Patriot” of Paine’s word but an Oligarch and a Billionaire dominating our politics and a man who cares only for his personal reputation and wealth with a notably horrible sense of humor. However, in these trying times, it is a better time than any for people of true decency, capable of good leadership, to rise and fight back against the absurdly odd persons attempting to hold control over this country.